Recently I got asked in one of my coaching sessions how to manage the constant amount of conflicting requests that arise. How do you prioritize? What is the best investment of time? How do you communicate if you say no to something?
That made me pause as I did not have an immediate good answer to this. Prioritizing has become such a “normal” activity for me that it barely registers anymore. And it took me a few moments to sort out a succinct answer. It also motivated me to review my decision-making models and check if I should update them.
Based on this instance I thought it is a good idea to share my process as well as the techniques that are out there and my experience with them.
There is always too much to do
A few years ago I ran myself almost into burnout. One of the reasons for this is that I struggled with keeping up with everything that was going on. I had always too much work, too many errands to run, and too many things that I wanted to do in my private life.
Not being able to check all my boxes and constantly falling behind caused immense stress and frustration for me. At some point, I simply had to stop and reset. I took half a year off from everything to reset myself (I can only recommend it 🏄)
During my time out I reviewed what got me there and how to avoid such a shitty experience in the future… some of my key learnings are:
- there is always too much to do – everyone experiences this
- feeling not in control of your time or your tasks can be extremely stressful
- not all tasks are created equal when it comes to return on investment and impact
- you will enjoy some tasks more than others
- saying no is a learned skill, and you can do it in a nice way
- if you do not understand where you want to go or what you want to achieve > the vision/big picture or whatever you want to call it. Deciding on what to say yes or no to becomes impossible.
Vision/Big Picture
I learned the hard way that if you have no guardrails to make decisions it becomes impossible to identify what you should take on and what you prioritize.
To get to the guardrails I regularly sit down and do an introspection to identify the vision/big picture I want to work towards. This is true for business as well as my private life.
Let me give you an example for each:
Business:
Let’s say I got the following 3 goals assigned or identified them as the highest priority for the current business year: Customer satisfaction, Cost/Efficiency, and innovation.
- Most important is customer satisfaction – if a customer is unhappy they will share the message and not renew contracts. Acquiring a new customer costs always more money than keeping an existing customer. If I get such a goal then I will identify what it means for my unit. As my unit has no direct customer contact but provides core services on which our products are built, the number 1 impact on customer satisfaction that my unit can have is service availability/stability.
- Cost/Efficiency improvement requires me to look into bringing down the costs for the overall delivery of the service.
- Innovation is important to ensure the service we deliver is relevant – however, as there is an existing customer base the first two goals are prioritized higher.
Now when I get an ask for a project, task support, etc. I will simply check if it delivers against the 3 priorities and how big of a lever it is.
The bigger the lever the higher the priority. But what if there is a conflict between the different main goals? Well, then you need to decide based on the priority you assigned. For example: To save costs we could move some of our assets around and consolidate contracts in our data center. As you pay per rented space you can bring down the costs by optimizing the usage.
However, the same resources might be needed to implement a planned change in your product that will increase stability or deliver on a customer promise. Here the decision is to accept higher costs and delay the optimization exercise to keep or increase stability which will lead to better customer satisfaction.
Private:
For myself, I set a few what I call infinite goals that then act as guardrails and some more concrete goals.
My infinite goals are to
- have fun while doing it
- having an interesting/exciting life > do daring things, collect new experiences and new acquaintances
- have interesting, meaningful relationships
- continuously work on leadership and giving something back
To make it more concrete I translated it into more tangible goals in different areas of my life such as fitness, my online persona, and family and friends:
- Get to 1000 regular monthly views on my blog / grow LinkedIn followers to 2000
- regularly train BJJ and some standup (Boxing or May Thai)
- once a month meet close friends
- twice a month dinner with family
- write daily 5 sentences
- once a month do something that is pushing me out of my comfort zone
Regularly, I have a look at those and remind myself about my priorities. This then allows me to decide on what I want to spend time on and let in my life.
Decision Models:
Now that you have clarity on your vision it is time to get our hands dirty. There are quite some decision models out there that give you a blueprint on how to decide and prioritize.
The most important thing here is to find something that works for you and is easy to execute consistently. I would recommend experimenting a bit with this.
1. Eisenhower Matrix:
In one of my past articles, we talked about the Eisenhower Matrix in more detail. It is a popular decision model for prioritizing tasks based on their urgency and importance. It helps in categorizing tasks into four quadrants:
- Important and Urgent: Tasks that require immediate attention and have a significant impact on your goals. Complete these tasks first.
- Important but Not Urgent: Tasks that are important but can be scheduled for later. Plan and schedule time to complete these tasks.
- Urgent but Not Important: Tasks that are time-sensitive but don’t contribute much to your long-term goals. Delegate or find ways to minimize time spent on these tasks.
- Not Urgent and Not Important: Tasks that have little or no impact on your goals. Avoid or eliminate these tasks if possible.
How to use the model:
- List all your tasks.
- Evaluate each task based on its urgency and importance against your vision.
- Place each task in the appropriate quadrant of the matrix.
- Prioritize tasks in the Important and Urgent quadrant, followed by Important but Not Urgent.
- Delegate or minimize time spent on tasks in the Urgent but Not Important quadrant.
- Avoid or eliminate tasks in the Not Urgent and Not Important quadrant.
2. Impact vs Effort Analysis:
This decision model involves evaluating tasks based on their impact and the effort required. Depending on where the task lands in the quadrant decide on the next step.
How to use the model:
- List all your tasks.
- Assess the potential impact of each task on your goals or desired outcomes.
- Evaluate the effort or resources required to complete each task.
- Prioritize tasks with high impact and low effort, as they offer the best return on investment.
- Consider delegating or postponing tasks with low impact and high effort.
3. Critical Path Analysis:
This model is commonly used in project management to identify tasks that are critical to the overall project timeline and success. Those are the ones you should prioritize and focus on.
How to use the model:
- Identify all the tasks required to complete a project.
- Determine the dependencies between tasks and their sequence.
- Identify the tasks that, if delayed, would impact the project’s overall timeline.
- Prioritize these critical path tasks to ensure project milestones are met.
I usually use a mix of all 3 on a day-to-day basis. Whenever I start something more complex I ask myself about the critical path. For everything else, it is Eisenhower or Impact vs. Effort model.
As I said earlier I would recommend that you play around a bit – the key here is not which system you use but that you keep your vision and priorities in mind and decide accordingly.
Execution, Communication, Delegation
Execution:
Once you identified the most important tasks it is time to get into execution mode. I use the following tactics to get my tasks done:
- Plan blocks of time without meetings or calls
- Put dedicated blocks in your calendar for big tasks (for example: Creating a presentation for a customer)
- Plan low-creativity tasks / administrative tasks such as emails, meetings, etc. in the time were your energy is lower (for me usually afternoon)
- Batch similar activities to avoid context switch
Time blocking is extremely helpful – these blockers are treated like meetings and I will adhere to them.
Luckily I have a wonderful secretary who is then defending those slots – should you manage your calendar you must build the discipline to not let meetings encroach on those.
In case you need to run a project the important part is to get the right people on board. To do this I prepare a clear description of the project, the deliverables, boundary conditions, etc. I also try to identify the critical teams and budget required for success. Then I book time with the right experts to get them on board 1 by one… once the key stakeholders are aligned I go for the kick-off. I think this topic alone is so big that it will warrant a dedicated post at some point in time…
Communication:
Saying no to a request or task is something that I struggle with. From my observation, this is also true for others. We all want to be helpful and supportive to others.
Without learning to say no you will end up not getting anything done – this will hurt your results and even cause conflicts with someone asking for help from you – as you might simply drop the ball due to overload.
In general, I always try to be helpful – but if I know it is something we cannot focus on right now I will state so and give a reason. It is important to always be professional and polite.
Over the years I found the best way is to be as open and honest with your counterpart as possible.
The structure that worked best for me so far is:
- Express appreciation:
- Start by expressing gratitude for the opportunity or request. Acknowledge the importance of the task or project.
- Be honest and straightforward:
- Clearly communicate that you currently have other priorities or commitments that require your full attention. It’s important to be honest about your capacity limitations.
- Provide a brief explanation:
- Briefly explain the reasons for your decision. You don’t need to go into extensive detail, but offering a concise explanation can help the other party understand your situation.
- Apologize if necessary:
- If your inability to take on the task might inconvenience others or cause any inconvenience, offer a sincere apology. This shows that you understand the impact of your decision.
- Offer alternatives if possible:
- If you can, suggest alternatives or solutions that might help meet their needs. This could include recommending someone else who may have the capacity or suggesting a different timeframe.
- Maintain a positive tone:
- Keep your response positive and professional. Avoid using negative language or sounding defensive. Emphasize your commitment to maintaining a good working relationship.
- Express willingness for future collaboration:
- Assure the person that you value the opportunity to work together and express your openness to future collaborations when your schedule permits.
Here is an example of how saying no via email could look like:
Request:
Hey Jonny,
we got some new feedback from Vendor XZY that they have an awesome new monitoring solution that might be useful for your team.
Could you please evaluate this and let me know how big a potential contract could look so that we can use this as leverage for another deal discussion we have with them?
Cheers, Chris
Answer:
“Hi Chris,
thanks for reaching out.
Usually, I would love to do this. Unfortunately at this moment, I have no free resources for this evaluation as we are in the hot phase of delivering our stability initiative which requires all hands on deck. As you can imagine a slip-up here would impact our customers negatively.
The project should be concluded in 2 months – we could pick up the ball around this time if you think it will be still relevant.
Aside from this, you could maybe check with the team of XYZ as far as I know they have similar use cases to what we do – they might have some need for it.
Best regards, Jonny“
Now let’s talk about saying no in your private life. You can follow the same structure – just less formal. In a private context I prefer sometimes to not give a reason to avoid hurting feelings.
“Hello Kai,
Thank you so much for inviting me to your party on Saturday. It means a lot to me.
Unfortunately, I won’t be able to make it this time. [Optional: Provide a brief reason, such as a prior commitment or needing some personal time.]
I hope you understand. Let’s plan to catch up soon. I truly value our time together.
Cheers*, [Your Name]*”
Delegation:
In almost all decision frameworks there is a category of work defined that you should delegate.
In the business context as a leader, you can apply the general rule of thumb to delegate tasks that are not creating a lot of value when you do them yourself. Your most limited resource is always time so it is key that you focus on doing tasks with the biggest lever.
Proper delegation is also great for the team as it fosters a sense of empowerment and skill development among team members.
So how do you delegate and to whom?
In a work setting you should always identify the best suitable person to do something. Let’s take the request from above to evaluate a specific monitoring solution. I might not have the time to do it by myself but I have a monitoring expert in my unit who has some capacity and the right knowledge to perform the task.
Nominating him/her will be a good exercise to practice stakeholder management, will lead to exposure in the organization and allows to learn about new technologies.
To delegate this task it is important that you inform the colleague, set the expectations and provide guidance in case issues should arise. Below the example on how I would delegate:
Before writing the answer I would sync with my monitoring expert and ask him if he could run the evaluation for me. I will provide him with as much context as I can and set the expectation on the expected output and timeline. Once this is done I would respond to Chris and establish the connection as following:
Answer:
“Hi Chris,
thanks for reaching out. Usually, I would love to do this. Unfortunately at the moment, I do not have the capacity to review the request myself.
However, let me add Martin to the email. He is our monitoring expert and would be happy to get on a call with you to map out the details.
Best regards, Jonny“
Delegation in my private life looks a bit different – here I simply focus on what tasks I enjoy the least and how I could outsource them or make them more efficient.
To give you some examples:
- I absolutely hate laundry and ironing – therefore I looked for an affordable laundry service that picks up my clothes and brings them after cleaning.
- I like to eat healthy but don’t enjoy cooking – therefore I research low effort recipes and meal prep to safe time.
To sum it up:
- Always keep your vision and priorities in mind
- regularly review your incoming tasks and categorize them
- communicate, execute and delegate accordingly
- play around with the models and find out what works best for you
Let me know if this was helpful and what tactics and methods work for you!
